The Growing

Is that a tree branch that just went through the window? Another through the ceiling?
Through the dunny and spreading to all the other houses?

That my friend is what is happening to myself, and to all of us. All – the – time.

A while back, I had a kidney stone. My wife was pissed at me during the process. She was pissed that two weeks prior, she kicked me out the house. The reason was at my initial response trivial, but she was onto something. Her insecurities were indeed lead by my actions (or inaction in this case) and only after that did a resounding realization start to creep in. Boy was I busted wide open.

For a boys entire life. We think we’re right. Our lives only make sense if we follow what we believe to be right. The truth is we all live in a distinctly uniquely flavoured fantasy land. You can’t tell me you live in the same world as your parents, and it may be ever so slightly different than your best friend (especially after taking your own journey through your choice). It is for that reason that boys are challenged by gorgeous girls and eventually they learn to suppress their ego. The successful ones bathe to quench its flames. 

So my darling wife pointed out things in my life that were part of my growing up. Part of my boy. It was constituting to holding back myself as a man and not take responsibility for everything in my life. As annoying or tiring as it is, this journey must be taken. The way to get there is through being present enough in challenging situations to make the right decisions at the right time. You can’t do that without being present. Luckily for us, life is so much sweeter in the present than it is worrying about bills, bank accounts or next weeks chores. 

What I did have a week after the initial argument (and being kicked out), was a kidney-stone. I had to call an ambulance on the way to work. Stopped, lied down on the wet grass for a while, stumbled and drove back home. Went to the bathroom, saw I was a ghostly white, and then the wife bam bam called the ambulance. 

By the time I got home later that day (high as a kite), she was angry. I spent a week on the bed groaning after work. Without her sympathy. Then I felt better for a day, and she gave me the ultimatum of ‘solving this’ or moving out. 

I love women, they are absolutely brilliant creatures. They know everything there is to trigger a man.
When I was kicked out, I went into total reflection mode. So much so that I re-imagine space and time. Life flashed before his eyes. I saw my mortality. Exactly what I needed. Team Women add yet another master-stroke to the history of our species.

It’s been a few weeks. I’m happy as before, realigned and rebalanced. The tree is growing and the family is taking roots. Life is grand.