The Lexus Service
May I cast your attention to my 2006 Lexus RS 330 with 200,000km on the clock. It is maintained lovely, but unless I change the seats and some plastics, you would know it is not the luxury of luxuries of yesterday.
The previous owner had destroyed their previous key set as the plastics on the keyfob degrade over time. They shattered the plastics during a hard key injection and ripped it apart. Today I go to the dealer with a small plastic bag with shards of plastic and glue. The key-blade detached. Today I go to Lexus to reunite these two pieces.
Driving to Lexus in not a Lexus is terrible. As you roll into the parking lot, all of the vehicles are Lexus. There is a circle of new and demo cars, all sparkling. At the middle of the circle and the entry there is ‘guest’ parking. If your car is not a Lexus you are intruding into this world. You better drive Lexus.
I rolled my mother-in-laws Hyundai Accent (a lovely car) at peak position. I felt the shame. Lexus have mastered the art of reputation control. After I guiltily opened the front door I was greeted with something different than the mechanic of yesterday. Piano black and white gloss with a brown swirl of Lexus logos, glass and diamonds were all I see. Perhaps I have walked into a hotel of some sorts?
A lovely girl with eyelashes much too long (one was hanging off) greeted me with a genuinely sweet welcome (let’s call her Charlie). She directed me to the concierge who I explained the situation to. I needed replacement keys and here in this very clear bag is your materials.
The concierge looked at me with no emotion. She was slightly older than Charlie. Had white straightened hair in a ponytail which went to her waist and she was a little too large like Uma Thurman. Her voice monotone, but dressed in her Lexus suit sharp as a tac. She recorded my details and told me to have a seat in the lounge. I thanked the Lexus robot trainee.
Five steps away I was back in the lounge. We had two choices. One TV screen had the prime ministers covid address and the other a future holographic Lexus commercial driving through a luxury overpass on a 3D island. It was played on loop. I chose to sat with the Lexus ad in front of my face.
As soon as I sat Charlie came over to offer me a coffee. She brought it out moments later in white porcelain. At the surface of the frothy milk. There lied perfectly in the center a cocoa embossed Lexus logo. It looked monumental. The taste, not so much. I thanked Charlie as I sipped and picked up the travel magazine placed perfectly.
I then sat comfortably flicking through the lovely travel magazine. It was full of interesting off the beaten path locations around the world. Vuvulavelasa in Mexico was one of the locations repeated more than once. I thought interesting how all that rich people want to do is get away. They complete the luxuries of life only to evade it to a cheap location overseas. We all want to get away from our current situation it seems.
I look to my right and check my watch. I see a man in a separate and adjacent desk to Uma. He wears a blue suit, an overly circular badge dominating his pink tie. Perfect short brown hair swept to the side wearing thinly framed, sharp rectangular glasses. The third model of the day. A gentle pleasant smile on his face as he looked busy on the computer. I look down under the desk. Black shoes. They should be brown. Good try Lexus.
I sit and read for another five minutes (now reaching the Penang classifieds) and then look up to see standing over me Chris, the mechanic. He is slightly overweight, slightly greasy and has no emotion. He speaks like a typewriter and has no humor in his spine. I am sure one leg is longer than the other. He tells me his prognosis. It will cost $149 and he could recreate the key in fifteen minutes. I thought this was too good to be true. I thank him and get back to my magazine.
The magazine finishes and I groan and take out my phone. I check the progress of my future life with the packages coming my way. They are mostly delayed due to Covid. It will be another month until my studio monitor speakers arrive and I can get back into producing some bad music. My classroom computer screens have also been delayed an additional two weeks. That’s fine, we can bring paper back in 2020 for a month (though I prefer we wouldn’t).
Chris comes back, new key in hand. It looks good, he did a great job. He over explains the process and he walks back to the lobby for payment. He stands there and operates the pay-pass machine leaning over Brownie (shoes). The contrast is stark, but the service is first class. I thank Chris and he escorts me through the very large doors. I say goodbye to the Lexus advertisement. He continues to escort me outside the doors, and to my car and I’m surprised not into my car.
This Lexus experience tells me a few things:
People chase aesthetics. Aesthetics can be misleading, for many of us they are a way to channel our excellence before we settle to a specific skill.
The whole operation falls on Chris. It’s the technician who is closest to the solution that makes this appointment a success or a fail. It is his character that is truly the character of the company. Lexus robots currently get us 90% of the way there.
Luxury == mechanization: Luxury is simply the little touches which make your life easy. Not only to get the job done but to make you feel good while the job is being undertaken. They do not have to follow a particular aesthetic taste. The service offered and the efficiency of these three roles worked incredibly effectively. Great mechanization, great luxury.
As I drive away my mother-in-laws slightly scratched Hyundai with Lexus key in hand I think to myself how we as a species have perhaps rushed to become economically prosperous. We seem to be muting our true selves personality and soul. There is no such thing as a free lunch and if we were to live in a Utopian society tomorrow we would need to be the Utopian people to fit the bill, otherwise the city will burn overnight. I then pass a McDonald’s and the fight begins.
